Speaking Your Child’s Love Language

Written by Alison Lingel

How do you interact and connect with your children?  Taking young Michael to a Phillies game?  Going shopping for Christmas presents together?  Cuddling on the couch while enjoying a tearful Hallmark movie or a harrowing horror movie?  Who enjoys these activities more, you or your children?  This is the million-dollar question…   Or, rather the 20-million-dollar question, according to the number of Love Languages series books by Dr. Gary Chapman.  As Chapman claims in his classic The Five Love Languages, identifying and understanding one’s preferred style of being loved is essential for strengthened connection and successful relationships.  Though it may be more natural to promote in your children your own love language, Dr. Gary Chapman (and Dr. Ross Campbell) strongly urge parents, just as they would for a romantic partner, to consider the preferred love language of their children “in the way he or she understands” (Chapman & Campbell, 2008).  

Simple enough?  When was the last time that you completed the love language survey with your children, specifically intended for children?  I personally have not, and plan to modify the question for my two-year-old.  Am I loving him in the way he wants to be loved?  We will find out!

The desirable endpoints of such love language discovery and implementation for children include identifying your child’s love language, helping your child to effective learning, manage behaviors calmly and successfully, and “build a foundation” for unconditional love.  Nonetheless another related objective would be to develop and maintain a strong and everlasting bonding relationship with your child(ren).  Additionally, how do you “speak” your child’s love language in many different ways? (Hint: the “physical touch” love language does not include just a hug.)  Whether I sound like an echoic infomercial, what is there to lose?

Take the Love Language quiz here! Start the quiz, and then select on the first question “I am taking the quiz for my child.”

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language 

Reference:

Chapman, G., & Campbell, R. (2008). The five love languages of children. Moody Publishers.